Why a Christmans tree is better than a man/woman

This is from a friend in Hong Kong.
He is clear these have been making the rounds for a number of years. Still, they are funny.
So read these over and have a happy holiday.

Five Reasons why a Christmas Tree is Better Than a Woman
5. You only have to dress a Christmas tree once a year.
4. You don’t have to talk to the tree about your relationship with it.
3. A Christmas tree is happy with cheap plastic accessories.
2. When it gets a bit old and tatty, you just leave it outside on the curb and someone takes it away.
And the number one reason why a Christmas tree is better than a woman:If you want a Christmas tree you go out and grab one, tie it up, and throw it in the back of your car.

Five Reasons why a Christmas Tree is Better Than a Man
5. A Christmas tree smells better
4. A Christmas tree only drinks water
3. A Christmas tree never tries to get into your bed and suggests "trying something new".
2. You can make a Christmas tree cute by covering it with tinsel
And the number one reason a Christmas tree is better than a man: A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you stand on one of its balls.

Dec. 5: A Day of Rejoicing

Let's hear it for Dec. 5.

It was on this date in 1933 that the United States came to its senses and repealed Prohibition.

The 21st Amendment was ratified this day 74 years ago.

I can't tell you hoe much Elmira and I appreciate the actions.

Besides being able to finally buy our hooch -- only selling alcohol was illegal under the 18th Amendment, not drinking -- without looking over our shoulders. (Yeah, I am older than your might think.)

Prohibition should have proved that trying to legislate morality is a failed policy. But that doesn't stop true believers from trying.

Interesting note about the 21st Amendment, it is the only Amendment to the U.S. Constitution to repeal another amendment.

A recent survey by the Freedom Forum showed that 38 percent of the people surveyed thought the First Amendment should be changed to ban flag burning.

Support from that group dropped 15 percent once they were told to do so would be the first time any portion of the freedoms in the First Amendment were amended.

Happy Hanukkah

To properly celebrate Hanukkah the folks I live with pulled out a Tom Lehrer album. Seems the sage of the 6os with such great hits as POISONING PIGEONS IN THE PARK and POLLUTION and THE MASOCHISM TANGO also had a tune for the Festival of Lights.

I couldn't find a way to send the full version with music -- that would be violating a dozen different laws -- but here are the words to the song.

I'm spending Hanukkah in Santa Monica
Wearing sandals, lighting candles by the sea
I spent Shavuos in East Saint Louis
A charming spot but clearly not the spot for me...

Those eastern winters, I can't endure 'em
So every year I pack my gear and come out here til Purim
Rosh Hashona I spend in Arizona
And Yom Kippah way down in Mississippah

But in December there's just one place for me
Mid the California flora I'll be lighting my menorah
Like a baby in its cradle I'll be playing with my draydel
Here's to Judas Maccabeus, Boy if he could only see us

Spending Hanukkah, in Santa Monica, By the Sea!


And just for fun here is a very funny FLASH version of Lehrer's song, The Elements.
http://www.privatehand.com/flash/elements.html

Enjoy and Happy Hanukkah